My Middle-Aged Date Refused to Wear a Condom Because He Was “Too Old” to Catch an STI
A bonus "F-Girl" story.
A lot of the stories that can be found in my midlife dating memoir, F-Girl, are stories that I’ve already published on Medium. But not every experience I’ve written about from that era made it in. Some of the stories fell to the cutting-room floor. Here’s one of them…
My Middle-Aged Date Refused to Wear a Condom Because He Was “Too Old” to Catch an STI
I was on my third date with Chuck, 50, when we ended up back at his place. We were in his bed, fooling around. I was excited about having sex with him. Chuck was hot for a middle-aged dude.
His rugged appearance made him look like he surfed a lot as a younger man. I could still catch glimpses of his pretty boy looks through all the wrinkles caused by too much exposure to the Southern California sun. Now, he gave off the air of an outdoorsy, mature babe, albeit one who still dressed like a teenager.
An advertising exec on the clock, Chuck wore T-shirts, jeans, and Vans in his free time. I thought his appearance was a sign of his casual take on life, which was a breath of fresh air after the dysfunctional miasma that had characterized my former marriage.
Now I was 40, divorced, and back on the market, happily schtupping my way through Los Angeles. I was enjoying my time with what seemed like an experienced gentleman — one who still had enough of an adolescent vibe to be fun.
I would soon learn that too much of an adolescent vibe on a 50-year-old man was a bad thing.
Chuck had been married for 25 years and had two adult children in college. He was “grown-up” enough to handle that I had two kids of my own. But I also knew that we weren’t headed for the altar any time soon.
I didn’t expect a commitment from him and didn’t want one. I could only assume that Chuck was dating other people, too. If we were going to hit the skins tonight, we had to do so with a barrier between us — a latex one. I simply assumed he would wear a condom.
I was pleased to find that Chuck was well-endowed in the dick department. It was fun pleasuring him with my mouth, and receiving the same in return. Things were moving along, and so I asked if he had a condom on hand. He looked at me as if I’d asked something outlandish.
“No,” he said.
I was startled by his response but immediately pulled a prophylactic from my purse. I come prepared, they say. Well, if you want to cum.
This time Chuck looked at me as if I had actually done something outlandish.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“I don’t use condoms,” he said.
I stared at him with the same kind of disbelief. “Why not?”
I’ll be back soon with more stories from F-Girl. In the meantime, please follow me on Instagram for videos and photos of me!