The Story of My Sexual Journey Before and After My Sexless Marriage

Introducing my new and improved newsletter: The Sex Life of Witt.

Photo of the author. 

I’ve recently resurrected my newsletter Sugar Cubed on Substack. I’m now calling it by its subtitle: The Sex Life of Witt.

The point is to start connecting my Medium stories in a logical way on a different platform. I’m reworking my published work along with writing some new stories.

I’m doing this as a means to piece together the story of my life after my sexless marriage. In doing that, I’ve realized I also need to tell the story of my sex life before I got married. 

But then again, WHY is this important?

I’m doing this for you and for me.

There are two reasons I’ve created The Sex Life of Witt newsletter: one is for your benefit. The other is for mine.

Any time I’ve written about my sexless marriage on Medium, I get a ton of comments from people in similar situations.

A lot of my readers are having bad sex with their partners — or no sex at all. Or they’re suffering from some sexual dysfunction. 

They have no one to talk to. So this newsletter is dedicated to you — you folks who might feel alone when it comes to your sexuality. Maybe you can glean some inspiration from how I’ve dealt with my own sexual life. 

But then, of course, there’s me. I don’t do anything in life if I don’t get a benefit from it.

As a full-time writer, recently I’ve felt like I’m just churning out piece after piece with no real rhyme nor reason. Writing feels like a job now. And I’ve spent the past few decades of my life doing everything I can to escape the daily grind. 

I need everything I do in life to have MEANING. But with the algorithm changes on Medium, I feel like I’m just writing to maintain the income I was bringing in last year. 

And that’s been difficult to do. 

I write piece after piece with no real reason other than to hope it catches on and gains some virality.

Often it doesn’t.

And it feels so fucking meaningless writing like this. I don’t even like half the stuff I write. I’m exhausted. If I’m not putting my soul into my work, I’d rather be making more money doing sex work. 

If I can make more money on a fifteen-minute phone call on NiteFlirt than I can during a whole day of work as a writer, then writing better fill my fucking soul.

And if it doesn’t, then forget it.

By creating The Sex Life of Witt newsletter, I’m trying to find the greater meaning in all these stories I’ve written over the past couple of years. I’m patch-working them together into a greater story with a bigger purpose. 

By retelling my own sexual narrative in my own words, I’ve grown in self-confidence.

I push back against the societal conception that I’m a slut, or a “low-value” woman, or that I’m dirty, damaged, or don’t respect myself. 

In short, writing this story helps me as a woman. 

Maybe I can help you, too. 


Emme Witt
Journalist and personal essay writer. Dominatrix. MFA. Sex expert and experimentalist. Author of the memoir, F-Girl.