One Way to Reignite the Dying Spark in Your Long-Term Relationship: Attend a Sex Club
In-person or virtually, attending a sex club can bring you and your partner closer.
I participate in a lot of Clubhouse rooms where I give people advice about sex and relationships. When folks complain about how the spark has died in their long-term relationships, I often advise going to a sex club.
What’s a sex club?
First of all, I should define what a sex club is. Typically, these clubs can also be classified as swingers’ clubs.
These are spaces where sexually adventurous couples — those who like to swap partners, bring other partners into their lovemaking, or engage in some form of group sex — can go to meet up with other like-minded individuals.
Some clubs are categorized as “off-premise.” That means you only meet up at the club socially. Any sex that might transpire between willing participants takes place in a home or hotel.
Other clubs are “on-premise.” This means the sex happens on-site.
The club my partner and I attend is an on-premise venue. There’s a dance floor on the main floor. Then, to have sex, people go to the basement.
Access to the basement is open to all party-goers. There, you can have sex with your partner on a bed where others can watch you. Or you can join in with others.
Usually, only couples are allowed to attend these parties. But for the intent of this article, that’s not a problem. My advice is to use a sex club as a way to reignite the passion of your relationship, after all.
Attending a sex club is great for foreplay.
The thing is, you don’t even have to have sex in one of these clubs to experience the positive effects on your relationship. It’s a chance to dress up and be in an environment that’s infused with sex — and that’s great for foreplay with your partner.
When we get around people having sex, we simply feel more sexual. Even planning to go to sexy events sparks excitement.
The more we think about sex and talk about it with our partners in an exciting way, the closer we feel to our partners—and the more we want to have sex with them.
Why is this important?
Let’s face it — sex gets boring in long-term relationships. Familiarity is a romance killer. Too much time together can actually drive a couple apart.
Throw in financial problems, a couple of kids, and the exhausted “busy-ness” of life in America. Many of us need something to help keep the fire burning in our relationships.
This is why I recommend attending a sex club with your partner to throw some logs on the dying flames of your passion.
You don’t even have to have sex at the club for it to be beneficial to your relationship.
Feeling a little nervous about going to a sex club? Unsure it’s for you? Does having sex in front of a bunch of people sound scary? Or do you believe that your partner would never agree to go?
I get it. That’s why I’ll let you in on a secret. You don’t even have to have actual sex at one of these clubs for it to help your relationship.
You don’t have to get naked in front of a bunch of people. You don’t have to participate in any group sex activity to feel the positive effects of attending a sex party.
It’s just about getting in the mood. You can make a romantic night together out of the experience.
After so much sexy bonding, you can’t help but want to have sex with your partner afterward.
Attending a sex club brings my partner and me closer.
A few months ago, I wrote about attending an on-premise sex club in our post-vaccination age. The whole point of the piece was to discuss how weird it was to go to a sex club during a pandemic.
But still, attending this party brought my boyfriend and me closer.
Here’s what I wrote about our experience:
Though my boyfriend and I didn’t play with any other people during our trip to this sex club, I’d still say our experience was very sexual. As we wandered around the darkened basement, where the sex was happening, we stopped every so often to kiss and fondle each other.
For me, it felt like we were reestablishing our bonds as a couple. We were re-emphasizing that we’re not just two humans who go to the grocery store and IKEA together or split up household chores between work and spending time with my kids.
We got in touch with why we got together in the first place. We connected intimately even if we didn’t have sex.
That’s why the sex we did have once we got home was so explosive. I was incredibly wet because I’d just spent a couple of hours engaged in “foreplay” at the club.
Going to this party was worth it, even if I did feel nervous about being around people again.
See, going to a sex club got both of us in the mood for sex even if we didn’t get down with anyone else at the club.
That’s why I think attending a sex club is a wonderful way to keep the spark alive as a couple.
Virtual sex clubs.
One of the best things now is that many clubs offer a virtual component. You can attend a sex club virtually from the privacy of your own home.
Think of it as a Zoom party. You have sex on camera in a large “room” with other people. Party attendees can also create breakout rooms where they can get intimate with just another couple.
No, it’s not the same as attending an actual onsite club. I wrote about the drawbacks of the virtual sex club in my piece, Is a Virtual Sex Club the Answer to Your Pandemic Fatigue?
Here’s what I wrote:
Going to a virtual sex party just isn’t the same as going to one for real. Part of the excitement of attending a group sex event is actually going there.
But still, I concluded:
…as we continue to stay home and do our part to stem the spread of the coronavirus, I’m grateful we at least have this.
In short, even though I didn’t exactly give the virtual sex club my gold star of approval, still it was a way to get closer to my boyfriend.
It was also a way to have hotter sex.
I wrote:
Being watched while we came definitely enhanced my orgasm.
And I added:
It’s also fun to anticipate the experience. Every Saturday night, we now go out to dinner on a patio at a socially distant restaurant. All through dinner, I feel excited about going home and logging into this virtual sex club.
So you can see, the virtual party was still hot. I can attest that participating in virtual sex parties definitely keeps the passion alive in my long-term relationship.
The takeaway.
Losing the sexual spark is often the first sign that a relationship is on the fritz. Once a couple stops having sex, they either break up, divorce, or worse: they just suffer in a sexless marriage.
I believe a visit to a sex club is one antidote to this.
I know sex clubs may seem intimidating to many, but sometimes you have to go out on a limb and make big changes to enjoy big changes in your life.
So get online and search for a sex club near you. Or find a virtual sex club.
You’ll be happy you did.
If you want to discuss how to find a sex club in your city in more detail, or how to convince your partner to go with you to one, you can always call me to consult on this topic.
To inquire about my consultation services, kindly send an email to mysteriouswitt (@) gmail.com.
My rate is $50/half-hour, $100/hour.
My PayPal email is the same. CashApp: $MysteriousWitt
Thanks so much! And if you take my advice, or have ever had an experience at a sex club, please leave a comment below.
So glad to know your PayPal email is sane. 😉
"You don’t even have to have sex at the club for it to be beneficial to your relationship."
I'm glad you emphasized this, because the vast majority of swingers in the world will not hesitate to point out that the lifestyle is not a cure for a sexless, possibly dying, relationship. My wife has indicated her willingness to return to the lifestyle---yet only for "the socializing aspect" as she puts it. While that isn't the optimum for me (the one who wants to have sex with others), I will certainly accept it as a form of foreplay.
As I've mentioned before, both I and my wife are very, very self-conscious about our age and our current body types; any club visits may not happen for some time, if at all. A member of an online swinger community I discovered told me that "all shapes, sizes, and ages" are part of that community, and that everyone has to "own their sexy." Nonetheless, their profile photos and other proffered pictures betrayed that claim. I have also learned that while the BBW is always a welcome addition to such venues and events, her male counterpart is shunned like a leper.
In other words, I don't trust the sex-positive and swinger communities to live by what they claim. It's the HWP world out there, and we don't qualify.