The Sex Life of Witt: I Was Fingered in a Park at Noon
After my sexless marriage, this experience marked the beginning of my sexual rebirth.
For those of you who have been reading about my life story for a while, you know that I was once in a sexless marriage. Suffering in a marriage to a man whom I’d become sexually estranged from had a disastrous effect on my self-esteem.
When I finally divorced my husband, I experienced a sexual rebirth. How did this happen?
Here’s the beginning of the story of how I came back to sexual life. I will be sharing much more soon. To help support me as I do so, please consider buying me a cold brew.
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Enjoy the story below.
After My Sexless Marriage, I Let a Man Finger Me in the Park at Noon
Finn and I met online in the wake of my separation from my husband. He had big, kind eyes and I craved kindness at that moment.
I just wanted somebody to be nice to me. I know that might sound desperate, even a little pathetic. I won’t deny that I felt both ways after my divorce.
My self-esteem was in the gutter after years of marital strife. I was ravenous for attention, having felt ignored for so long.
I’d felt neglected—sexually neglected. Now I wanted sex. I hoped Finn would give me what I desired.
His luscious lips and fit body — he could fill me in more ways than one. Still, I was so nervous. I hadn’t been with a man that way in years.
Because I was scared to go out on a “real date” with Finn, I proposed we meet up at noon in a park. I didn’t even want him to take me to dinner. I wanted to meet in a park, like friends.
I wanted sex but I wasn’t ready to have it. Besides, I assumed Finn would disappoint me. I’d probably discover he wasn’t half as handsome as he was in his photos. He’d bore me.
I’d just have to go back home and masturbate. At least I’d get some self-pleasure out of the experience, I thought. During the last year of my sexless marriage, I hadn’t even gotten that.
Imagine that: for an entire year, I didn’t even masturbate. Yes, that’s twelve months of no sex — not even with myself.
No sexual release. I didn’t even want one. That’s how deeply I’d repressed myself.
But now I was out of my marriage. I was coming back to life. I desperately wanted sex. Still, I worried about what would happen when I met Finn.
I’d spent too many years feeling disappointed. I had married for love. My now EX-husband and I had a few great years together—but then it all ended.
It’s hard to remember exactly how our sexless marriage began. It simply evolved.
One argument led to another until my husband and I hardly spoke anymore. Suddenly we were no longer having sex.
My marriage was finally over. I wanted to date, but I still felt unsettled about meeting with new men. I was nervous about allowing myself to be intimate with anyone.
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My date with Finn.
Finn suggested we first get a smoothie at a health-food cafe before going to the park. I met him there and was happily relieved he was every bit as handsome in real life as in his dating profile.
He was also so friendly, touching my arm as we stood in line. I realized all my fears were unfounded. He treated me to a kale and ginger blended beverage. My heart swelled.
So did my pussy.
It was such a small gesture — this beautiful man treating me to a smoothie. Just him doing this and touching my arm as I sipped my drink — ripples of pleasure spread over my skin.
And in my cunt.
It suddenly struck me as insane that I had stayed in my sexless marriage for so long. But I also knew why I had—my ex and I had two children together. I’d stayed for them.
To survive that marriage, though, I’d had to put my sex drive into sexual hibernation. Now I felt myself coming back to life—thanks to Finn.
We took our smoothies to the park. No kids were present in the park at that hour. It was a school day. The park was empty. My own two children were at school. But I couldn’t allow myself to think about my kids at that moment. As selfish as that might sound, I could only think about myself.
For years I’d only thought of other people. I’d persisted in a marriage that made me unhappy as a means to keep the family together. I’d wanted my kids to grow up with the warm, fuzzy feeling of having both their parents living under the same roof.
But my marriage kept going downhill. It had to end. Now it was over and I was seated with this beautiful man on a grassy hill in this park, finishing my smoothie.
The pine trees overhead shaded us from the aggressive, Southern California sun. The sunlight didn’t hit us full-on but filtered through the branches and needles.
Those filtered rays dappled my skin. I felt so comfortable, the breeze blowing lightly over my flesh.
Finn kissed me. Being kissed by him felt like getting my first drink of water after being parched for years.
I had been parched. My sex life had been a desiccated tundra.
No affection. No love. No sex.
Finn was my font. I drank deeply of him, lapping at his essence. I couldn’t get enough.
He must have sensed what he was doing to me, what with the way my body was reacting in response to his kiss. I clung to him. I wanted him to fill me with his life-giving elixir.
I suddenly didn’t care that we were in an empty public park at noon. Finn put his hand on my breast, then slid his fingers under my shirt into my bra. He kneaded my nipple right in the park!
Then he glided his other hand down my pants. His finger slid right inside my pussy. I was that wet.
He fingered me deliciously on the grass. But even as I enjoyed this experience, I remembered we were in public.
I kept checking to make sure that the area was still empty around us. My eyes remained open the whole time. I don’t believe in non-consensual exhibitionism.
I believe people should be able to choose to see what they want of public sexual activity. It wouldn’t have been appropriate had anybody been there to witness us — unless they’d consented to it.
As I knew that could potentially happen, I started to feel too uncomfortable to keep letting Finn finger me there in the park. But it also felt so good to be touched by him after years of near celibacy.
I wanted to fuck him right there in that park—but I couldn’t! I sometimes wonder what would have happened had Finn taken me right there on the grass.
I’m sure it would have felt amazing to have sex in the middle of the park at noon. Still, propriety won out. I told him we had to stop.
And yet, I learned from this meeting. I learned to stop being so scared about dating—and being sexual—with new men.
Did I ever have sex with Finn? No. But he still gave me something important that day. His finger-fucking gave me pleasure. He also helped usher in the beginning of my sexual reawakening after my divorce.
What about you? Have you ever had a similar experience? Have you ever been in a sexless marriage? Did you stay or leave? And have you ever fooled around with someone in public? How did it make you feel?
Stay tuned to read more about my sex life both before and after my marriage…. To read all my work, please check out my blog.
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